Minecraft terror

{{NSFW}}
so theres guy. his name john. he was big fan of minecraft and had one big dream that he would be notch husband. 
he play minecraft. he sees something strange. it's scary because it has no eyes and its follow him so he sprints hes get faster and all sudden wall appears infront of him and herobrine comes up against the wall and pushes him in to it
he leans closer and starts speaking in johns teamspeak where he talks to himself to make him feel better/ he says
"We have no more milk and cookies in the nether, and it's too hot." "But worst of all, we have no BOOTY in there. So you know what i'm going to do?" John screamed in agony. The booty warrior had defeated him. It slid out of his buttcrack. "I knew you would run, Steve. I didn't come for you to leave." John tried to leave, but the button would not work. He was possesed. "In fact, we all crave your booty in the nether." John felt the pain in his anus in the real world. The computer blue screened. He turned around in his desk chair to run away. But then he saw it. It was him. "Don't leave, John." he said. John screamed for hours that night, but no one heard him... Poor, poor John.
OMINOUS BOOTY WARRIOR ON THE LOOSE